When I was out with Julie the other day I was reminded of something. I love living in Coulsdon being able to run amongst the greenery and breathe the mostly unpolluted air.
The only issue I always seemed to have is that I live in social housing and my travels always took me past the expensive houses with the most amazing gardens. I always used to dream that one day I would make it big as a coach and my dream house by the sea would be mine or that I could at least afford one of these amazing houses. I used to wonder what these people had done to attain such a property and always thought they must have worked their socks off in there chosen field. I never felt jealous (not my style) but I did hanker after a better life, especially once I got home into my small often messy mishmash of a home.
Nowadays its so different, I still dream of the house by the sea but I think of the reality of owning a big house, the huge repair bills and whether it would ever be as warm and cosy as our little house. I realise my experience of the outside world is already very similar as these people. I still walk (or in my case run) the same streets, go to the same amazing bakery, say hello to the same people. My life is the way I am designing it and although it’s not perfect, lets face it whose is, it feels pretty amazing to me as long as I have an attitude of gratitude and remember to be thankful for what I actually have and not focus on what I dont yet have.
I have a family who loves me and supports me, ok so I am the butt of many a household joke but thats another story! I look considerably younger than my years thanks largely to good genes and I am really enjoying my new much healthier lifestyle. All this fresh air must be good for me and to be honest the fact I run in all weathers is definately a couple of fingers up to my OCD and anxiety. Then there’s the holidays and the small but lasting home improvements, we have managed to do since the kids have grown up. I am too busy enjoying my life to look outside myself and long for something I dont have and if I do want something different, I will get it, I just realize with hindsight and age (oh it had to be good for something) its ok if it takes a while and I enjoy the process too.
Until next time
Jane x x