Hi Mum, It’s only me! I hope you can hear me? I feel you can.

Today it’s your birthday and I still miss you like crazy.

On this day ten years ago, I had my fortieth birthday party. Don’t get me wrong it was great, but along with many of my best friends, you weren’t there.

We’d lost you very suddenly, at the end of March and life honestly just stood still. You were always my biggest fan, even when I was old enough to do things for myself. You were always there, guiding me, helping me be the person I am, and always supporting me.

I remember being about 35 and turning around, just after receiving my red belt in karate, and there you and Dad were, grinning all over your faces with pride.

You came to all of my Coaching workshops, all of my Butterfly Clubs (of course being my chief butterfly) and you supported all that I was trying to achieve through my coaching.
I won’t lie, I haven’t managed to do any more workshops since your balloon popped and then a couple of weeks later you were gone…However you would be so proud of me. I am giving it another go and next year it will be the start of something wonderful.

Ten years on and I am very nearly fifty. I still have OCD, probably always will, but I have learned to push my boundaries and I have many more good days, than bad. I think I’ve turned out pretty well and so many of my good qualities come from you.I am caring and kind, generous with my time (too much sometimes). I do things for others and try to make a positive difference as much as I can.I am getting forgetful like you. I am so sorry I took the micky quite so much, but you were hilarious! I am fast becoming a true replica where that is concerned.

Talking of Micky, he is as strong as an ox and fast becoming a great bricklayer. He is loyal and supportive and starting to become the man I always knew he would.

Ellie is as quirky and individual as ever. So childlike and incredibly grown up all at the same time. She has followed in our footsteps and has made some amazing outfits. Although her little ‘Shedio’ out the back has not seen her for a while (she’s been busy being a manager at the tender age of 22) I know she will go far.

Ian and I are still hanging on in there, weathering life’s storms together.

Anyway, I must be off, this house wont clean itself and my coaching empire needs some care and attention to fully get it off the ground.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime and I am so chuffed that I was blessed with the most amazing Mum.

We will celebrate your birthday with a cup of tea and some coffee and walnut cake, your favourite. I might even crack open some mulled wine (although I wont have a mug full this time!)

Anyway, Happy Birthday Mum and thanks for the memories

Jane xxx

An Open Letter To My Mum
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